9. Allen Iverson. Because of him my unborn kids will never want to “practice.”
8. Tayshaun Prince can ball, but dude looks like he’s about to “phone home.”
7. In most towns, people with speech impediments get clowned on. In Detroit, they get to be the PA announcer.
6. Thanks for making me sit through the 2005 NBA Finals. Watching you guys play the Spurs was like watching the PBA tour or something.
4. Kwame Brown, aka Waffle Iron Hands.
3. Rip Hamilton, I thought I was skinny at 6-foot-2, 180 pounds. 6-foot-7, 190 pounds? Rip in half, maybe. Who’s your strength and conditioning coach, Snoop Dogg?
2. The birdshit on the back of Sheed’s dome.
1. The Motown Melee ruined Reggie’s chance to get a ring. Thanks to these pricks, only two of my three favorite players (the Captain, Kobe and Reg) have rings. Those Bad Boy scumbags also embarrassed a Kareem (4-0) and Kobe (4-1) team in the Finals. If Boston sucks, then Detroit rusty trombones.