10 Things I Hate About You: Chicago Bulls

10. Scottie Pippen. What is up with your nose, my man? You look more like a wildabeest than a bull.

9. Jerry KrauseMilton meets Newman (Phil Jackson’s favorite part of this countdown)

8. Derrick Rose is the ugliest rookie point guard with a pretty name since Damon Stoudamire.

7. Tyson Chandler. Brad Miller. Elton Brand. Even Eddy Curry. Funny how a team without a center has provided roughly half the league with one.

6. Luol Deng…um…fuck…can’t…say…anything…bad…about…him. Well, uh, he went to Duke!

5. Drew Gooden thinks this is cool.

4. You Windy City wastes of space ruined Alan Parson Project’s “Sirius” for me. That used to be Jake “The Snake” Roberts theme song before you assholes stole it. Now I can’t even work out to it.

3. Tell me Kirk Hinrich wouldn’t have been a great Harry Potter. Either that or a great Alfred E. Newman.

2. Because you bastards didn’t pick Sam Bowie, allowing…

1. Michael Jordan to not only destroy the Magic era in Los Angeles, but also parity in the NBA for most of a decade. I’m glad you got beat by that balding, four-eyed CEO dude in a game of one-on-one. More like Error Jordan now. By the way, I’ve heard his game is getting even more sloppy off the court.

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