10 Things I Hate About You: Spurs
As is the tradition around these parts, especially after a big Lakers win over those criminally boring pansies…
Ten Things I Hate About the San Antonio Spurs:
10. Manu Ginobili’s bald spot.
9. That the Spurs seemingly find some random warm body and turn him into an adequete swingman every single year.
8. That I currently live closer to the Spurs than any other pro sports team. I’m reminded of that on a daily basis. Why? Because I can smell the pigs that congregate at the trough they call the AT&T Center all the way from Austin. Actually, that’s the main reason I’m moving back to L.A. — I just can’t take that smell.
7. David Robinson. Only A.C. Green and the 40-Year-Old Virgin took longer than the Admiral to get laid.
6. Avery Johnson. If it wasn’t for the Spurs, we wouldn’t have to hear that munchkin helium addict blab all the time. Go audition for “The Wizard of Oz” on Broadway or something, little man.
5. Did I mention Manu Ginobili’s bald spot yet?
4. Tim Duncan. Why does homeboy talk exactly like Dave Chapelle making fun of us white dudes?
3. They used to be called the Chaparrals. That’s vegetation, for chrissake. I tell you, everything bad nowadays starts with bush. Especially in Texas.
2. Greg Popovich. Coach Pop Mark and his wife are wine enthusiasts. Is that so she can bear looking at your face. Noriega had better complexion. So, stop being such a smart ass prick when you get in-game interviews. You should just be glad there’s a cameraman brave enough to look at you.
1. Watching the Spurs play. No wonder Eva Longoria-Parker or what-the-hell-ever is a “Desperate Housewife.” If I had to watch all 82 Spurs games, I’d be pretty damn desperate, too.
The Spurs are actually harder to hate now that Bowen is no longer allowed to perform deviant sexual acts on Kobe for 40 minutes and call it “defense.” But you left out Oberto’s pube beard and Mason’s Medusa hair extensions.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:33 amNot very funny.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:36 amNice calls, 50. I’m sure I’ll hit up on those topics and more in part II.
January 26th, 2009 at 11:52 amA chaparral is also a bird, similar to a roadrunner.
January 26th, 2009 at 12:05 pmNot according to Wikipedia, my man.
January 26th, 2009 at 12:42 pmYour top 10 was FUNNY!
January 26th, 2009 at 2:04 pmGO LAKERS!
So this is how ignorance spreads on the WWW
January 26th, 2009 at 2:15 pm[...] 10 things we hate about the spurs. [...]
January 26th, 2009 at 5:34 pmLame.
11. That they have 4 titles in the last decade and we only have 3.
12. That Duncan was able to win a championship (3, actually) without David Robinson and to this point, Kobe can’t win one without Shaq.
13. They a truly a team…selfless superstars, classy, respectful of the game…we got…Kobe.
14. Duncan has 2 MVP’s, Kobe 1.
January 26th, 2009 at 5:48 pm[...] Head Sharapova’s Thighs – You, The Reader Will Decide How We Choose The Field Of 32 Thighs Lake Show Life – 10 Things I Hate About You: Spurs Awful Announcing – The Cris Carter-Keyshawn Double Standard [...]
January 26th, 2009 at 7:19 pmCory,
The Lakers are a team, too — playing selfless ball which has led to the best record in the NBA.
The Lakers beat the Spurs in the playoffs last year.
A lot of that is true, but I still hate the Spurs — and love making fun of those clowns. What’s lame about that, dude?
January 26th, 2009 at 7:30 pmGeorge,
Let loose and have some fun every once in awhile — you just might like it.
I’ll be sure to send everyone of these to you, since we do every team. Just kidding
January 26th, 2009 at 7:32 pm[...] 10 things this guy hates about the Spurs < Lake Show Life [...]
January 26th, 2009 at 10:31 pm[...] Ten reasons to hate the San Antonio Spurs, in case you were looking for more reasons. [...]
March 10th, 2009 at 3:40 pmI just found your blog following a link, it
August 7th, 2009 at 8:43 am