10 Things I Hate About You: Spurs

As is the tradition around these parts, especially after a big Lakers win over those criminally boring pansies…

Ten Things I Hate About the San Antonio Spurs:

10. Manu Ginobili’s bald spot.

9. That the Spurs seemingly find some random warm body and turn him into an adequete swingman every single year.

8. That I currently live closer to the Spurs than any other pro sports team. I’m reminded of that on a daily basis. Why? Because I can smell the pigs that congregate at the trough they call the AT&T Center all the way from Austin. Actually, that’s the main reason I’m moving back to L.A. — I just can’t take that smell.

7. David Robinson. Only A.C. Green and the 40-Year-Old Virgin took longer than the Admiral to get laid.

6. Avery Johnson. If it wasn’t for the Spurs, we wouldn’t have to hear that munchkin helium addict blab all the time. Go audition for “The Wizard of Oz” on Broadway or something, little man.

5. Did I mention Manu Ginobili’s bald spot yet?

4. Tim Duncan. Why does homeboy talk exactly like Dave Chapelle making fun of us white dudes?

3. They used to be called the Chaparrals. That’s vegetation, for chrissake. I tell you, everything bad nowadays starts with bush. Especially in Texas.

2. Greg Popovich. Coach Pop Mark and his wife are wine enthusiasts. Is that so she can bear looking at your face. Noriega had better complexion. So, stop being such a smart ass prick when you get in-game interviews. You should just be glad there’s a cameraman brave enough to look at you.

1. Watching the Spurs play. No wonder Eva Longoria-Parker or what-the-hell-ever is a “Desperate Housewife.” If I had to watch all 82 Spurs games, I’d be pretty damn desperate, too.

Tags: Avery Johnson David Robinson Eva Longoria Greg Popovich Lakers Manu Ginobili Spurs Tim Duncan

  • 50andstillfly

    The Spurs are actually harder to hate now that Bowen is no longer allowed to perform deviant sexual acts on Kobe for 40 minutes and call it “defense.” But you left out Oberto’s pube beard and Mason’s Medusa hair extensions.

  • ChiTown Steve

    Not very funny.

  • http://lakeshowlife.com Kareem Abdul-Adam

    Nice calls, 50. I’m sure I’ll hit up on those topics and more in part II.

  • Jay

    A chaparral is also a bird, similar to a roadrunner.

  • http://lakeshowlife.com Kareem Abdul-Adam

    Not according to Wikipedia, my man.

  • Jackie Lopez

    Your top 10 was FUNNY!

  • george

    So this is how ignorance spreads on the WWW

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  • cory


    11. That they have 4 titles in the last decade and we only have 3.

    12. That Duncan was able to win a championship (3, actually) without David Robinson and to this point, Kobe can’t win one without Shaq.

    13. They a truly a team…selfless superstars, classy, respectful of the game…we got…Kobe.

    14. Duncan has 2 MVP’s, Kobe 1.

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  • http://lakeshowlife.com Kareem Abdul-Adam


    The Lakers are a team, too — playing selfless ball which has led to the best record in the NBA.

    The Lakers beat the Spurs in the playoffs last year.

    A lot of that is true, but I still hate the Spurs — and love making fun of those clowns. What’s lame about that, dude?

  • http://lakeshowlife.com Kareem Abdul-Adam


    Let loose and have some fun every once in awhile — you just might like it.

    I’ll be sure to send everyone of these to you, since we do every team. Just kidding :)

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