Shaq’s New Nickname Chosen: The Cleveland Steamer

Faced with a new city and new co-star, the former “Big Diesel” and former “Big Cactus” (among MANY other things) settled on “The Cleveland Steamer” as his new nickname according to non-existent sources.

“I wanted a nickname that conveyed my dedication to Cleveland and showed that I’ve got an engine in me that is capable of literally pulling this team to a trophy,” Shaq was not quoted as saying.  “I thought about ‘The Cleveland Rocket’ first, since rocket engines are more powerful than steam engines, but I didn’t want to use another NBA team name in my nickname,” he also didn’t say.

So it appears that King James and the Cleveland Steamer will run the show up there near Lake Erie next year.  Can’t wait to see Shaq’s waning physical condition make this trade blow up in the Cavs faces.

For the record, Shaq could literally rip my head off.  I’m aware of this and am calling him the Cleveland Steamer anyway.  If I disappear, you know where I went (as if he’d care about someone like me anyhow).