Lakers’ Fearsome Foursome: Artest, Kobe, Odom And Pau

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ESPN’s Chris Broussard is reporting that Ron Artest and the Lakers have agreed on a three-year, $18 million deal. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of this signing, is that the Lakers now, at least on paper, have one of the most-imposing foursomes ever to step on NBA hardwood together. Think about it in these terms (as Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith often did last season)…

Kobe Bryant is the best No. 1 option in the NBA. Sorry, King, but where’s the bling?

Pau Gasol is arguably the best No. 2 option in the NBA, or at the very least in the conversation. Only Chauncey Billups, Paul Pierce and maybe a revived Shaq come to mind as alternatives.

Ron Artest is arguably the best No. 3 option in the NBA, or at the very least in the conversation. Only Manu Ginobli and Rashard Lewis come to mind as alternatives.

Lamar Odom is arguably the best No. 4 option in the NBA, or at the very least in the conversation. Only Richard Jefferson comes to mind as an alternative.

Think about that. The Lakers’ four top options are arguably the best No. 1, 2, 3 and 4 options in the league. When was the last time a team had a foursome that was even in that ballpark? The Celtics and Lakers of the mid-80s?

That being said, the Lakers’ new fearsome foursome is so good they desperately need a nickname, and we’ve got one for them…

Bum, bum, bum bum, bummmmm….daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad

Starring…

Kobe Bryant as the Black Mamba – The deadliest assassin in the world.

Pau Gasol as California Spanish Mountain Snake – The Spanaird is a mountain of a match-up for any four or five in the L.

Lamar Odom as Cottonmouth Candymouth - L.O. might just be the most versatile player in the NBA.

And introducing…

Ron Artest as Copperhead Crazyhead – When his mind is right, he flat out murders the opposition.

This fall, this deadly group will come together and rally around one common goal. They will set out to…

With four of the NBA’s top 30 players, no washed-up Witness Protection agency is going to stop that from happening. No other team is going to stop this foursome either. Only three things can stop the DVAS: A.) An Artest meltdown; B.) Injuries; C.) Getting drunk, falling down and hurting themselves. Welcome to L.A., Crazyhead, er, Ron. Keep your mind right and your squad will get the big kill.




Tags: Add New Tag Kobe Bryant Lamar Odom Los Angeles Lakers Pau Gasol Ron Artest