Top Ten Reasons Lamar Odom Still Hasn’t Signed
By Ryan Kane
Waiting for the Lakers and Lamar Odom to come to an agreement on his contract has made many fans wonder what on earth is taking so long. I offer a few suggestions:
10 ) Odom requires a contract equal to that of other Street Fighter lookalikes.
9 ) Candy store is having a 50% off sale. Lamar Odom locked himself inside 4 days ago and won’t leave until someone brings him those little candies shaped like baby pacifiers.
8 ) Odom wants a special tall chair like Phil Jackson gets at games.
7 ) Lamar is shocked that Adam Morrison will be the fifth highest paid Laker next season.
6 ) Lakers offering a signing bonus of 1000 Twix bars. Odom wants an upgrade to Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
5 ) Lamar is growing a beard and side burns and wants them fully grown in before a signing press conference.
4 ) Mitch Kupchak discovered YouTube and is now infatuated with Diet Coke and Mentos.
3 ) Who can pay their bills on a measly $8 million per year?
2 ) Someone wrote
"“How do you keep an NBA player busy during the off-season?(turn over for answer)”"
on both sides of a piece of paper and gave it to Odom. He hasn’t spoken since.
1 ) Lamar is 80% of the way to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop; still counting his licks.