Waiting for the Lakers and Lamar Odom to come to an agreement on his contract has made many fans wonder what on earth is taking so long. I offer a few suggestions:
10 ) Odom requires a contract equal to that of other Street Fighter lookalikes.
9 ) Candy store is having a 50% off sale. Lamar Odom locked himself inside 4 days ago and won’t leave until someone brings him those little candies shaped like baby pacifiers.
8 ) Odom wants a special tall chair like Phil Jackson gets at games.
7 ) Lamar is shocked that Adam Morrison will be the fifth highest paid Laker next season.
6 ) Lakers offering a signing bonus of 1000 Twix bars. Odom wants an upgrade to Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.
5 ) Lamar is growing a beard and side burns and wants them fully grown in before a signing press conference.
4 ) Mitch Kupchak discovered YouTube and is now infatuated with Diet Coke and Mentos.
3 ) Who can pay their bills on a measly $8 million per year?
2 ) Someone wrote
“How do you keep an NBA player busy during the off-season?
(turn over for answer)”
on both sides of a piece of paper and gave it to Odom. He hasn’t spoken since.
1 ) Lamar is 80% of the way to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop; still counting his licks.