Masked Mamba Strikes Again As Lakers Crown Kings

A warning to all citizens of the National Basketball Association: Be on the lookout for a masked man wearing a purple and gold jersey with the number 24 on it. If you should come across this man on a basketball court do not attempt to guard him alone. I repeat, do not attempt to guard him alone.

Two days ago the mysterious man first appeared at Staples Center in Downtown Los Angeles where he proceeded to pummel an overmatched Minnesota team. Tonight he repeated the feat by unleashing a fury of offensive domination as he and his accomplices, a group known as the Los Angeles Lakers, beat up on their neighbors from the north, the Sacramento Kings.

Do not be fooled by the final tally of 115-107, for the most part this was an unfair fight. The man being referred to as Masked Mamba struck early and often. Late in this contest, when things got too close for comfort to the likings of Laker boss Mike Brown Mamba’s partner in crime, Derek Fisher, delivered some clutch daggers before that masked man killed off the Kings with a massive three-point shot from the corner.

Currently the Lakers are showing no signs of letting up. Most of this year they’ve been dormant on offense but that is quickly changing. Opposing defenses should be very afraid when the big man known as Baby Faced Andrew Bynum is aggressive and assertive. He aided and abetted Masked Mamba’s efforts to destroy Sacramento with a barrage of dunks, blocks and ferocious rebounds.

As if that weren’t enough there’s a Spaniard named Pau Gasol that, like Baby Faced Bynum, stands over 7-feet tall. He too is a nightmare for all foes.

Making tonight’s fight even more cruel was Metta World Peace making a very rare appearance. He got in on the act with 15 points including a big three-pointer in the fourth.

The Miami Heat should be warned that Masked Mamba is out for revenge. He’s said to be looking for the man that caused the accident which spawned the need for the mask. That man, Dwyane Wade, will be in Los Angeles on Sunday. Both he and his self-proclaimed King are advised not to get too close to the mask. 34 points against the Timberwolves and another 38 tonight against the Kings was not a mistake. I repeat, those two performances were not a mistake. They were a warning.

Miami, you’ve seen the flares. Known that you’re entering a battle zone this Sunday and waiting for you at center court will be Masked Mamba.

That is all.