Jan 20, 2013; Toronto, ON, Canada; Los Angeles Lakers center Dwight Howard (12) reacts to a technical called against him against the Toronto Raptors at the Air Canada Centre. The Raptors beat the Lakers 108-103. Mandatory Credit: Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Settle down, Dwight Howard isn't going anywhere

We knew the Dwight Howard rumor mill would start turning eventually. Hell, I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t looking forward to the circus at least a little bit.

I woke up this morning to see that wish had been granted, full-force.

The Atlanta Hawks are going to bring in Stan Van Gundy – yes, Stan Van Gundy of all people – to lure Howard to Atlanta.

The Mavericks can’t offer Howard anything that another team cannot, but apparently the offer some kind of mythical ‘power’.

With it, I’ve come to a realization it’s much, much too early for this crap. I’d rather not spend the next few months sifting through Howard rumors for relevant content. So here’s me saying, SETTLE DOWN. Howard isn’t going anywhere, and here’s why:

1.  Money talks

Howard makes an extra 30-million dollars to stay in LA. I feel like this speaks for itself.

2. Look at me, look at me, look at me!

Howard so desperately needs to be liked that he reminds me of this guy:

So he would pass up the opportunity to play under the brightest lights in the league? Think again.

3. What this guy said.

You see, Dwight Howard is too much of a Dwight Coward to leave the Los Angeles Lakers like he left the Orlando Magic. He doesn’t have the intestinal fortitude to do it. He’s not tough enough to endure the flood of criticism from the national media that would surely come if he left the exalted, illustrious, grandiloquent Lakers.

When he abandoned Orlando, the only people who truly cared were the Orlando fans and local media. If he leaves the Lakers, the entire NBA media power structure will destroy him. Stephen A. Smith and the army of babbling bobbleheads will castigate him on ESPN. Shaq and Charles Barkley will emasculate him on TNT. Adrian Wojnarowski and Bill Simmons will annihilate him on the national websites.

4. Jack Nicholson will destroy him

5. The Lakers will have loads of cap space to to build around Howard in 2014.

It’s true.

Player 2012/13 2013/14 2014/15 2015/16 2016/17
Kobe Bryant $27,849,000 $30,453,000 $0 $0 $0
Dwight Howard $19,261,200 $0 $0 $0 $0
Pau Gasol $19,000,000 $19,285,850 $0 $0 $0
Steve Nash $8,900,000 $9,300,500 $9,701,000 $0 $0
Metta World Peace $7,258,960 $7,727,280 $0 $0 $0
Steve Blake $4,000,000 $4,000,000 $0 $0 $0
Chris Duhon $3,680,000 $3,920,000 $0 $0 $0
Jordan Hill $3,500,000 $3,500,000 $0 $0 $0
Jodie Meeks $1,400,000 $1,550,000 $0 $0 $0
Antawn Jamison $1,352,181 $0 $0 $0 $0
Earl Clark $1,240,000 $0 $0 $0 $0
Devin Ebanks $1,040,000 $0 $0 $0 $0
Darius Morris $937,195 $0 $0 $0 $0
Robert Sacre $473,604 $0 $0 $0 $0
Darius Johnson-Odom $195,013 $0 $0 $0 $0
Andrew Goudelock $44,835 $0 $0 $0 $0
TOTALS: $100,131,988 $78,186,630 $9,701,000 $0 $0

(via hoopshype)

6. So I totally lied, he could leave

The only dude on this planet that could absolutely guarantee you Howard won’t leave the Lakers is Howard – which completely sucks because:

That said, there are still more than enough reasons for Howard to stay in LA. So before we go up in arms over every little rumor this offseason, try to remember that.

Will Dwight Howard be a Laker next season?

Loading ... Loading ...

What do YOU think will happen with Dwight Howard this offseason? Sound off in the comment section below and let us know.

Don’t forget to “LIKE” the Lake Show Life’s facebook page for up-to-date Lakers news and analysis right from the comfort of your news feed.

Next Lakers Game Full schedule »
Tuesday, Oct 2828 Oct7:30Houston RocketsBuy Tickets

Tags: Dwight Howard Los Angeles Lakers Playoffs

comments powered by Disqus