Unconfirmed sources are reporting that Kobe Bryant, fed up with the disappointing season the Lakers have struggled through, is planning on suiting up Tuesday against Portland and finishing out the season. Bryant, who has played just half a dozen games for the Lakers this season, plans to use the remainder of the seasons as a barometer for his progress heading into the off-season.
The source said Bryant is “tired of seeing us get our asses handed to us each night” and said that they needed to put their “big boy pants on.” Bryant was quoted saying “tanking doesn’t win championships” and that he didn’t care if winning the final handful of games worsened the Lakers draft stock.
Bryant had been working out in secret, mainly late at night and when players and media weren’t at the Lakers training facilities. In typical Black Mamba fashion, his workouts were ultra intense and were led by former head coach Phil Jackson. Each workout ended with a zen session with plenty of sage and mediation.
Bryant’s return is expected to be announced by the team later today, April 1st, also known as April Fools Day. This story is phony. Happy April Fools Day.