Since Tim Tebow is just out here changing sports now, the Lakers should just throw up their hands and sign the man, the myth, and the legend
Tim Tebow damn near broke the Internet on Tuesday morning in classic Tebow-ian fashion. As his NFL career is seemingly dead in the water at this point, news broke on Tuesday that the former Heisman Trophy winning quarterback would be pursuing a new career. No, he’s not going to continue working for ESPN; instead, Tim Tebow is going to try and become a professional baseball player.
But why stop there?
If Tebow is just out here deciding what sports he wants to try and play professionally, why not throw basketball into the mix? He’s big enough to be an NBA guard at the very least and he’s obviously athletic. If he can play football and baseball, it only stands to reason (sort of) that he should just complete the trifecta of the biggest sports in the United States and try to take his talents to the hardwood.
And what better team to take on the three-ring circus that is Tim Tebow’s sports career than arguably the most polarizing team in the NBA, the Los Angeles Lakers?
As Luke Walton begins his tenure as the head coach of the Lakers, the front office pretty much has to give him the ultimate athletic weapon on the roster in Tim Tebow to work with.
Subsequently, here are three reasons why the Lakers should totally, definitely, tell Tim Tebow to come play basketball and sign him on to wear the Purple and Gold.
(Note: Please don’t take a word of this seriously. It’s all in good satirical fun.)
Next: No. 3 The Jump Pass
3. It’s Time For the Jump Pass to Come to the Lakers
If there’s one specific play that Tim Tebow specialized in throughout his tumultuous NFL career and most definitely throughout his collegiate career with the Florida Gators, it’s the glorious jump pass. The images of Tebow faking the sneak and then just jumping up to dump the ball off to a tight end or receiver in the end zone are forever burned into the minds of football fans. Now just mentally Photoshop a basketball into his hands and you’ve got instant offense.
Imagine the Lakers are in a one-possession game late in the fourth quarter and they need a bucket. Walton throws Tebow in at one of the guard positions and tells him to go to work. The great Tebow then lowers his shoulder like he’s about to try and boulder and power his way into the lane to get to the rim and score. When the defense collapses on him, though, Tebow leaps into the heavens like the majestic Pegasus and soars above the defense to drop off a dime to a cutting Lakers teammate for the easy bucket.
Okay, so maybe this wouldn’t be the most effective offensive set in the history of the NBA. In fact, there’s almost no way this play is working if there’s anyone over 6-4 on the court with Tebow. But you have to admit that you want to at least see Tebow try and make the jump pass work for the Lakers at least once in your life.
Next: No. 2 Six Hard Fouls
2. The Physical Presence of Timothy Richard Tebow and His Six Fouls
You know how NBA players like Kendrick Perkins and others that really can’t contribute at any meaningful level keep getting contracts because teams want big, strong, physical players to go out there and make sure that opponents think twice about trying to come into the lane softly? As the old adage goes, every player on the roster is given six fouls and they should use them and Tim Tebow would bring six fouls to the Lakers better than anyone else ever could.
If there’s one thing that you can’t take away from Tebow as a football player, it’s that the dude is built like a 250-pound wall of brick. He’s, if nothing else, a physical specimen cut out of stone and full of power. So now imagine him, once again donned in the Purple and Gold of the Lakers, bodying up guards in the NBA. After about two times of trying to go through a Tebow screen or trying to go into the body of Tebow, guards are going to think twice about doing it again.
Of course, Tebow isn’t a dirty player—he’s way too much of a stand-up gentleman for that type of nonsense. Subsequently, Luke Walton wouldn’t be able to tell him to go out there and just hack someone to death because that strategy lacks any moral fiber. But if Tebow can go out there and make some guys pay the price of trying to come in his yard once or twice, why wouldn’t the Lakers sign him.
Next: No. 1 Must-See TV
1. You’re Not Going to Miss a Single Game of the Tim Tebow Era Lakers
Yet another thing that you can never take away from Tim Tebow as an NFL player is that he possesses drawing power in regards to fans, media attention and so on. Any time that Tebow was on the field, people were going to watch. Sure, many of those people were tuning in to see if just how many throws he was going to put into the turf with no receivers within 10 yards of the throw, but that’s not the point. The point is that Tim Tebow is must-see TV.
So if you’re going to tell me that every sports fan in the world wouldn’t be tuning into every Lakers game to watch Tebow in the NBA, you’re lying to yourself.
Last season under Byron Scott, watching the Lakers became admittedly tiresome for much of the season. Despite exciting young players like D’Angelo Russell, Jordan Clarkson, and Julius Randle, it was the same frustrations again and again resurfacing and simply making even the most ardent fans not want to watch. Tebow changes that. Tebow makes everyone want to watch, even if it’s just to see how epically he’s going to fail at trying to play basketball.
In reality, Tim Tebow doesn’t play basketball and will continue his pursuit to make it to Major League Baseball for now. However, we can all dream about the day that Tebow-magic comes to Los Angeles and changes the NBA and the Lakers as we know it.
For now, though, we’ll just watch the young Lakers under Luke Walton take steps towards being a contender in the Western Conference hopefully sooner rather than later.