The perfect Christmas gift for each member of the Los Angeles Lakers
‘Tis the season of giving, and it is important that we all remember the value and sense of fulfillment that comes with giving to those that are less fortunate than us. Unfortunately for the Los Angeles Lakers players, this season just has not gone according to plan. Despite an impressive win over the Denver Nuggets and down to the wire win over Washington (first full game without AD) recently, these gentlemen could use a little pick me up this holiday season to give them a little boost as we approach Christmas.
Black Friday sales may be in the rearview mirror, but at this point in the season, a fun idea would be for the fans to pool our funds together in order to show our appreciation for the work that these men put in on a daily basis in order to make us proud (they may not have made us proud thus far in the season, but you can definitely see that they are actually TRYING unlike last season).
Sure, these guys make millions of dollars and could simply purchase these things on their own, but would it not be a much more sentimental gesture for the fanbase to actually embark on something like this?
This would be the type of thing that could REALLY motivate the players to get in sync and give the fans what they want: wins.
Here is one Christmas present for each member of the Los Angeles Lakers:
LeBron James: Beach chair
LeBron, who will be 38 in the days to come, is getting closer and closer to retirement despite his continued elite-level performance on the court.
Whenever it comes time for James to hang up his sneakers, he will do so deserving of a beautiful life post-retirement. He has done so much both on and (more importantly) off the court for this game, that he should enjoy peace and tranquility throughout the remainder of his years. We will supply the legend his chair, but it is on him to get his Corona.
Anthony Davis: Throne
Despite his recent injury, it has become increasingly evident as the season progresses that this is no longer LeBron’s team. Anthony Davis has firmly acquired rights to the deed of BOTH the future AND present Los Angeles Lakers.
His teammates (not only LeBron) have acknowledged this as well. To really drive that point home in his head, an actual throne should be shipped directly to the Lakers’ locker room for installation at AD’s locker.
Russell Westbrook: Replica Sixth Man of the Year trophy
Russell Westbrook may or may not finish the 2022-2023 season as a member of the purple and gold. With that being uncertain, one thing that is certain is that this man has completely flipped a switch since his move to the bench.
Regardless of his continued shooting inefficiency and turnover problems, there really is not another name that comes to mind currently as someone that would really pose much of a threat to Russ in the NBA’s Sixth Man of the Year voting.
Even if he ends the season on another team AND/OR misses out on that award, it would be good for him to know that the fanbase has taken great notice of his quick fall to rapid-rise turnaround between last season and this season.
Austin Reaves: Glue gun
Hillbilly Kobe has not only become a fan favorite, but he genuinely looks like somebody that can be counted on to make a positive impact on each game that he plays in. Whether it is his shooting or secondary playmaking on the offensive side or his strong efforts and willingness to put his body on the line on the defensive side, he has become someone that his teammates, coaches, and fans can count on to do the right things and hold things together at times.
Lonnie Walker IV: Trampoline
Lonnie LOVES to bounce and glide through the air, so what would be a more appropriate gift for the young air-bender?
Thomas Bryant: Treadmill
Prior to Anthony Davis’s injury, Darvin Ham had been very inconsistent in regard to Thomas Bryant’s minutes since his return to the active rotation from a preseason injury. When you really pay attention, Thomas Bryant sprints down the court EVERY possession when he is on the floor. The IU alum clearly has a shining for running, so why not provide him with the ability to run while relaxing at his home?
Dennis Schroder: Gucci Bag
Remember when Dennis the Menace infamously fumbled the bag? Well, he may not be the greatest Lakers point guard to ever suit up, but he has been a solid secondary playmaker in the two seasons that he has now been in LA (this season and the 2020-2021 season). To help him put that lost bag in the past, a replacement bag of the highest quality should do the trick.
Troy Brown Jr: Putty gun
TBJ has been neither spectacular nor underperforming this season. He has not done anything that jumps off of the page or warranted potential future interest in a re-signing (even though he would not be a terrible option to re-sign), but he has done well to fill in the cracks for the Lakers this year so far.
The team is obviously lacking in established wings, and as one of roughly three (LeBron, Brown, JTA) actual combo forwards on the roster this year, he has started sixteen games and provided semi-solid minutes, doing well to partially cover up for the front office’s mistakes this offseason.
Patrick Beverley: Pop a shot
Pat Bev is a career 37.4% shooter from beyond the arc. Through the first 30 games of the 2022-2023 season, he is shooting a measly 26.4% from downtown. Yikes. Bev needs to spend less time working on his podcast and more time working on his jumpers.
His efforts on the defensive side alone may keep him on the team past the deadline but had he started the season shooting closer to his career % from 3 he would most likely not be the hottest name on the Lakers trading block presently.
Wenyen Gabriel: Surprise party
Wenyen Gabriel has performed admirably this season, which is something that was not heavily anticipated going into the season (he is not even on a guaranteed contract).
While his numbers may not spark a ton of attention, his on-court hustle and grit have actually been quite a revelation this year and should renew interest among other front offices both in the trade market and ensuing free agency. SURPRISE Wenyen, we appreciate you!
Max Christie: One-year weight room membership
Did anyone notice how Max Christie completely shifted the momentum for the Lakers late in the game against the Nuggets? It was not just the back-to-back threes that he hit either. Go back and watch that full game again, and you will see Christie absolutely hounding Jamal Murray on defense.
Christie is looking more and more like the prototypical 3 and D guy that is so highly coveted in today’s NBA. If he can pack on another 5-10 pounds between now and next season he should be a genuine breakout candidate across all 30 teams for the 2023-2024 season (sidenote: please do not trade this young lad, Pelinka).
Juan Toscano-Anderson: Trade back to Warriors
This is in no way, shape, or form a jab at JTA. He is absolutely adored by fans across the NBA. His journey to the NBA in and of itself is an inspiration and provided hope for not only those that dream of making it to the NBA but is also a prime example of the obstacles that you must overcome to achieve your greatest dreams across all walks of life.
While there should be no desire to trade this guy, it just seems right that he returns to Golden State where his breakout story was born. He would more than likely have a higher chance of winning another title in the Bay, and he is absolutely beloved by the Warriors faithful.
Damian Jones: Seat warmer
With Anthony Davis’s MVP audition and Thomas Bryant’s quick ascension, Damian Jones appears to be the odd man out of the frontcourt rotation. With his role now being limited to a break-in-case-of-emergency scenario, he better get comfortable sitting on the pine the rest of the season.
Kendrick Nunn: One-way plane ticket to any destination of his choosing (besides Los Angeles)
We do not even really need to delve too far into this one. Just get this man out of town, and as quickly as humanly possible.