David Stern Prepared to Axe Two More Weeks

Remember that scene in Total Recall when The Governator Nannynator touches down on Mars and tries to sneak through dressed as a woman with an animatronic head? If you’ve never seen the flick then that sentence must sound like one of Shawn Kemp’s drunken ramblings. If you have seen it then you know what I’m talking about. If you’d like to be in on the analogy then peep it here.

Basically Arnold thinks he’s being hella slick until the robot dome gets stuck in a loop when he’s asked how long his stay will be. The head starts to repeat the phrase “two weeks” over and over again. Clearly caught red haired, our savior of Mars has to remove the head then tosses it just before it explodes.

So forgive me for taking the long way to say that the way that head exploded while rambling on about “two weeks” is how I feel after hearing that David Stern is going to chop another two weeks off the NBA schedule.

At least Stern didn’t go the whole nine and cancel Christmas like he threatened previously. That still doesn’t help my aching head.

Maybe I’m in the minority as evident by how little public reaction the NBA lockout has generated. There are plenty of fans out there but most seem to act as if an 82-game slate allows for a week here or a month there to just be sliced without any repercussions.

I beg to differ.

Now I’m no fool. I fully understand that the NBA season is such a grind that it is impossible for players to get up for every game. You’re dealing with travel, injury and general indifference as you’d expect with any job. Sure, there are games that are given away cheaply. Just see the Lakers on Christmas Day.

Even so I always enjoy seeing something I’ve never seen before. Every night of NBA hoops is one of a kind. No matter how boring or amazing every NBA game is unique unto itself. It is the most pure form of reality TV there is. Nothing scripted and never a repeat. Each game provides some sort of entertainment you just can’t find anywhere else.

So to a lot of you this is just, two weeks.

To me this is TWO WEEKS. TWO WEEKS. TWO WEEKS. TWOOOOO WEEELADSDSAFGHSDSSSSS.

No if you’ll excuse me I need a drink before my head explodes.