Andrew Bynum Needs To Hire A Driver

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As a betting man I’m willing to give odds on anything thing. In the words of a good friend of mine, “I’d bet on little league.” Yeah, I’ve got issues. Hey, step one is admitting the problem. At least I’m in the know of my deficiencies. Andrew Bynum, on the other hand, not so much.

Right about now I’m giving better odds on Bynum staying healthy all year than I am of him growing up anytime soon.

To me he will always be Baby Bynum. The lasting image remains his shirtless exit from the playoffs and a picture of his car positioned in a handicapped parking spot.

Stay classy, Andrew Bynum.

Last night the L.A. Times reported that Bynum has received two traffic citations in the last two days. No real sin there. We’ve all been there and done that in this city.

What is concerning is that Drew can’t seem to get any perspective on anything.

First off, in case there are no mirrors in Bynum’s crib maybe someone should remind him he’s seven-feet tall and is very recognizable in Los Angeles.  That’s why rolling up the 405 in a sports car with no plates is a bad idea. But that’s just a fix it ticket. Again, we’ve all been there but none of us is high profile like Baby Bynum.

So, you’d think after getting pulled over for something that small Drew would be cautious to avoid the bigger stuff.

Again, you thought wrong if you assumed he’s a quick learner in the game of life.

The following day Drew was stopped again on the 405 this time for speeding…in that same sports car.

Memo to Bynum: you are not inconspicuous in any way. When cops see a high profile case in their sights they make like the paparazzi when Angelina Jolie is at a Vons. Feel me?

Bynum’s maturity is highly concerning because it’s not progressing. This issue is small potatoes in the grand scheme but does reflect some of the problems that plagued this franchise last season.

Drew is no longer going to be allowed to skate by with occasional contributions. The expectations are here and he’d better live up to if not exceed them. Otherwise Baby Bynum will be Dwight Howard bait.

For now, if I were Drew and had some of those checks he cashes, I’d hire a professional driver to get me around Los Angeles. Between the parking issues and the consecutive 405 mishaps it’s time to cut this problem off at the source. Plus, with a full-time driver Drew is free to bench press Playboy skanks in the back seat, read computer specs or just enjoy the scenery without the worry of more negative press.