The Los Angeles Lakers have been sold for the second time in a 14-month window. This time, instead of the billionaire owner of the Los Angeles Dodgers, the Lakers have been sold to a familiar name for those who love visiting Anaheim and Orlando: Bob Iger (and Josh Kushner).
Kushner gained his wealth through real estate investments and other ventures, while Iger is the former CEO of Disney who rose through the company ranks, originally as an ABC employee. Iger is one of the most influential executives of the century, and now, he looks to bring his influence to the NBA as an owner.
It's easy to have fun with Iger's Disney ties as it pertains to the Lakers. And no, I'm not making any Mickey Mouse jokes about the 2020 Championship. It was real to me, dang it. Instead, as someone who grew up going to Disneyland yearly and has been to Disney World multiple times as an adult, what if we did the unthinkable? A truly unique piece of content that I am not even fully sure I can wrap my head around and I'm the one writing it?
And no, I am not using AI to help come up with these comparisons. This is all fresh off the dome. My years of Disney park experience have led up to this one moment. Let's ride.
Comparing the five most notable Lakers to Walt Disney World rides:
Luka Doncic: Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind
Anyone who has visited Disney World knows that Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind is one of, if not the, best rides at any theme park. It's not as simple as both Luka Doncic and Guardians being elite, though. It's how both Disney and the Lakers lucked into getting them.
The Lakers' luck is well-documented. Nico Harrison made the most polarizing NBA trade of all time and lost his job less than a year later. Disney's luck is a bit different. Back in 1994, Marvel sold the exclusive theme park rights to its characters East of the Mississippi River to Universal. That's why Islands of Adventure has a fleshed-out Marvel land, and why Avengers Campus is restricted to Anaheim.
Because they weren't a popular IP, the Guardians were not included in that deal, allowing Disney to use the now-popular IP to create one of its best rides at one of its best parks.
Austin Reaves: Living with the Land
We're going back to EPCOT with another fan-favorite: Living with the Land. Just like Austin Reaves, Living with the Land should not work as well as it does. In today's age of thrill-seeking and spectacle, a ride about how plants are grown on property doesn't seem like it would be a good time.
Just like how an undrafted rookie from Arkansas doesn't seem like he can be a great NBA player. Reaves bucked expectations and became the highest-paid undrafted player in NBA history this summer. Living with the Land bucks expectations every day as a cult classic.
Walker Kessler: TRON Lightcycle / Run
Walker Kessler was long connected to the Lakers in trade rumors. The anticipation for him to come to LA was extreme. Once it happened, even though he is an objectively good player, there was a bit of a pause. Wait, how much did he cost?
Kessler is a good player, but is he worth four first-round picks and over $100 million? Probably not. He's not a bad player. But barring a fundamental change in his game, chances are a lot of Lakers fans will be left wondering if that's all he brings.
That's TRON Lightcycle / Run in a nutshell. An expensive coaster that seems amazing on paper but doesn't quite live up to all the hype.
Bronny James: Na'vi River Journey
There is no denying Pandora as one of the greatest themed areas in any theme park in the world. From the breathtaking floating rocks to how the floor glows under UV lights at night (even though the park closes early, so you can hardly see the UV lights), Pandora is a real spectacle. Its main attraction, Avatar: Flight of Passage, is genuinely one of the most groundbreaking rides of all time.
And then there is the B attraction, Na'Vi River Journey. Disney wasn't going to open Pandora with just one ride and had to include something else to do in the land. So they came up with Na'vi River Journey, a short boat ride that is forgettable outside of one cool animatronic that sometimes works.
There is real potential in Na'vi River Journey; it's just not all the way there. There is a real conversation to be had about whether or not its a good enough ride to be in a Disney park. And one thing is for certain: if Flight of Passage ever goes away, Na'vi River Journey wouldn't have much of a place as a standalone attraction.
Sound familiar?
JJ Redick: Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring The Muppets
JJ Redick was once one of the best sharpshooters in the NBA. He put together a long, successful career primarily based on his ability to shoot threes. After his playing career, Redick found new avenues for success with his basketball mind. First as an analyst, then as a coach.
Redick's jump from ESPN talking head to head coach of the Lakers was criticized at the time. Even though he played over a decade in the league, there were real questions about whether or not he could coach a LeBron James-led Lakers team with no prior coaching experience.
I mean this in the most endearing way possible as someone who walked down the aisle to an instrumental version of Rainbow Connection. JJ Redick is Kermit the Frog. He has reinvented himself at every turn and has succeeded in every role he has been given, appealing to a new audience every time.
And just like Redick was doubted in his coaching pursuit, there were real doubts about whether or not a Muppets-themed rollercoaster could actually work. Spoiler alert: it does work. Just like Redick as an NBA head coach.
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